6 Weeks

I can't believe my little man is already six weeks old today. It's a little bittersweet. Of course I'm tired because it seems I never get to sleep more than an hour and half at a time (if that). I don't get any sleep because Caleb is still so tiny and dependent on us. Do I really want that to end??? Well, part of me says YES! I want to sleep! But the other part of me, the larger part of me, realizes that my son will never be this little again. Each day is flying by and before I know it, 6 weeks will be 6 years. I honestly cherish each and every single day because I know I'll never have it back. I know it's cheesy, but I can't help but hear the lyrics to Aerosmith's "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" when I look at him.



I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever



So, yes, laugh all you want. Again, I know it's cheesy. It's true though. At night when I'm awake holding him, I love hearing him breathe. I actually love the sweet smell of his breath. He makes me smile when he smiles in his sleep. In those moments, sleep doesn't matter to me. I realize that I'm holding a miracle and that God allows us to experience a little piece of heaven when you become a parent.



The last six weeks have been some of the hardest ones in my life, but far worth every second. You know it's funny, when I first got married to Jason, I did the same thing. I never told Jason (sorry you're hearing about it for the first time on here sweetheart), but I used to stay awake at night and just look at my husband while he slept. I was amazed that I was finally married and I just couldn't sleep because I was so excited. The apartment we lived in when we first got married was perfect too because our bedroom had a long set of windows that went across the whole side of the room and the moon would always shine through making our room glow. I still have a mental picture of Jason laying in that soft light and I remember thinking, "God, thank you for this man." Well, the moon doesn't quite shine in our bedroom like that anymore, but I find myself saying that all over again to a man that's 6 weeks old (and also still to Jason). I never thought I could love two boys so much.



R

The pictures today were taken by Sarah C. Photography